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1. Research online dating sites and apps

Before you meet anyone for a date, be sure to do a little research. This will help you be more comfortable and confident on the date. Lots of people have fun using sites like Match.com and OkCupid. These sites have a lot of useful information about the person you’re matching with. Google your date to see what kind of pictures he or she has posted and what kind of personality traits pop up. Having a profile up on Match.com is free for the first month, so get yourself on their site and just look through people. You’ll get a feel for who this person is within five minutes.

2. Plan your date

The biggest obstacle of online dating is that you will be meeting someone for the first time. If you are comfortable in person and have a conversation going, imagine your worst nightmare—you’re sitting there, across from a person you don’t know, and all of a sudden you have nothing to say. I’m here to tell you that even the most confident person can freak out in that situation. So plan your date. What will you talk about? What are you wearing? What do you bring to the table? You’re going to be meeting this person one-on-one, so make sure you come prepared. Be prepared to do the talking or leave it to your date. Remember, this person is as comfortable as you are in a conversation, so be yourself and have fun.

3. Dress the part

I don’t care what you think of this advice, but there are a lot of men who wear a suit on a first date. Why? “I’m older than I look” (i.e. the dude is 31-years-old and looks 26) is not a good first impression. I’ve been on dates with a man who wore jeans and a T-shirt to impress me. It’s not that I don’t respect a man who wears a suit on a first date, but it’s not an age thing. No one wants to be seen with a 30-year-old in a suit. Dress like you’re comfortable—or are trying to catch a hot young model, but don’t dress up. Whether you are in a suit or in a casual, inexpensive button-up is your decision. The key is to look like yourself.

4. Pictures or it didn’t happen

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Why You Should Be Chill About Online Dating

When people talk about online dating, or being on-again, off-again with a new person or a relationship, I often feel like they’re describing something that is both disappointing and outdated. After all, the average American only dates every two years—that’s 36 months! If you start with one date every month, that’s 360.

When you are using online dating sites, you are essentially conducting a full-scale public experiment. Your profile is sitting on a table (or in cyberspace) somewhere, constantly visible to anyone who walks in the room. You are someone’s number one option for a date, so you are also up for other people’s consideration. You are being evaluated. In a matchmaking service, there are a number of other users who will be looking at your profile in real time, and you are on display for the person looking for a similar type of person. How can anyone resist? If you are upset, it seems unfair that the people who are worse off than you are online looking for love.

But why stop there? Online dating is important, but it’s not the only way to meet potential partners. Let’s talk about the flip side of online dating.

Why You Should Use It to Meet Good People

I think everyone has at least one friend or acquaintance who has gone on a series of awful, awful dates with a guy and finally realized that he’s the person who’s been consistently lying to her. Instead of being upset, she decides to try online dating so that she’ll have plenty of dates to choose from.

The use of online dating isn’t just about meeting awful people. It’s about meeting better people too, and that’s my whole point.

Think about it. If you are a good conversationalist, you have a lot of social capital. You are attractive. You probably have a good sense of humor. You likely know a lot of cool people. You are a valuable and interesting person. If you put yourself out there in the world, you will attract some pretty incredible people.

By the way, I’m not suggesting that online dating is a magic bullet for dating. It isn’t. You still have to put in the work. But I do think it can be an effective supplement to other methods of meeting people.

When You Find a Good Person, You Don’t Have to Lose

This is the primary reason to be chill about online dating

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